Tuesday, December 07, 2010
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Monday, November 01, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
You complete me.
You are in me.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I love Poached Eggs. Fantabulously mind-blowing. As you bite the yolk, with the juice flowing ever slightly down your fingers, and the sprinkled salt and pepper making it finger-lickin'-good, the feeling is just awesome.
I can have Poached Eggs with baked slices of bread, with Beef Steak, and with American Chopsuey. These are usual. Try it with Maggi. Cook the Maggi noodles and place it on a pair of poached eggs and have it. Try Poached eggs with small chopped pieces of Tomato and Coriander Leaves sprinkled. you can also try it on a Pizza, but the Pizza lovers might just hate the loss of the Italiano Flavour, but trust me, It does taste good.
The perfect blend of Continental Cuisine and Homemade Indian tweaks.
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Sometimes you chance upon something, that something which can strike you right inside. It will cut you through and yet it won’t kill you. You will just know it’s you, in a way. I chanced upon Pablo Neruda tonight. Years back I had chanced upon Khaled Hosseini. It’s my style. It’s my pattern. Deep layered enigmatic imagery irony of emotions. I love the pieces.
Saturday, September 04, 2010
Friday, September 03, 2010
Hope is not in what I know
Not in me
It's in You
It's all I know
And I find peace When I'm confused
I find hope when I'm let down
Not in me
But in You
I hope to lose myself
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me
It's all I know
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Is it a pure anomaly that I still believe I can? Because I’ve seen people lose themselves when things don’t go their way. I’ve seen it with myself. I’ve seen it with countless souls.
Is it raw serendipity that I still believe I will? Because I’ve seen hungry minds wanting more and getting less. Because I’ve seen empty souls flatter themselves. Because I’ve seen good souls ending up with more than they could possibly get.
Is it verisimilitude? Or is it a fake impostor bringing himself out in me? Or is it ‘the me’?
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
I just want to go to the riverside. Now. Its late in the night. The cops might raid. The addicts might have a potful. All I want is to go there.
I miss the groan at times, the groan of the machines, the stark rubble of the falling boulders. I miss the pent up screams and the worked up eyes and the suppressed beats. I want to miss them.
I want to just lie there. The silhouette of the distant ships in the dockyard with a few dark lights twinkling. The banks, totally dark and serene, potentially invisible. The stormy sky with the stars absent. The flash of a singular headlight in the stroke of the hour. The thrash of the water along the grassy beach. The gradual rise of the white circle with the ebb of time.
I want to lie down on the soft grass. Let the wet ground soak my backside. I want to stare. I want to forget. I want to wonder. I want to realize the futility of the effort to wonder. I want me to be absent. I want me to be wanted. I want to fall. I want to rise again. I want to be blank. I want to be clean. I want to go far away. I came alone. I will go alone. In the meantime, I want to live. I want to go the riverside.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
I can’t take it when you say it’s a waste.
I can’t take it when you say don’t.
I can’t see us parting on that note.
I can’t see when you leave in a huff.
I can’t leave without a troika.
I can’t go without a feather touch.
I can’t bear a loss of opportunities.
I can’t think of anyone but you.
I can’t live without you.
Friday, April 30, 2010
There’s something about those strands falling over your eyes
There’s something about those deep dark eyes
There’s something about those luscious lips of yours.
There’s something about those dimpled cheeks
There’s too much I’ll miss now
There’s nothing more than you’d take me along with you
There’s you and me going over and over, again!
Friday, April 02, 2010
I somehow absolutely hate “take care” messages, especially from ones who actually matter to me. I don’t know why. Maybe because it creates a distance or gives the apparent notion of distance.
Sitting on the rooftop, with a bunch of notes, the stark sun scorched me. Carelessly glancing through them, I had my mind elsewhere. As the sweat beads formed and dropped silently, I stared at the Latin and Greek sentences which would be the key to my exams tomorrow. I knew nothing.
The day had not been going right. Well to be honest, it had been going absolutely incredibly wrong since late last night. Arguments and rude words not withstanding I actually missed a parting “I love you”. You didn’t sleep early last night I presume/assume. I don’t know. I know I didn’t. In fact I only slept at 4 in the morning and woke up at 8.the morning went past. I couldn’t hear a voice, a sound of the voice I so long for. It made me all the more restless. I hoped against myself maybe I could yet. Instead a few texts, some rhetorically formal made its way. I, for once, thought I would wait. The wait isn’t over yet.
As the sun made its way across the horizon paving for a cool evening, I lied down on the dusty rooftop porch. A gentle breeze accelerated into a stronger one. I glanced through the notes, occasionally fiddling with the cell with eager wistful eyes. As the horizon darkened and a good many messages later, with the now pretty strong breeze literally hitting me, I nodded a vain sigh to myself. And I cried. Its been a good many days and months since I last cried. There is a subtle difference I find between breaking down and crying. You break down, and then try to maybe hide your tears. You break down, and then you find consolation. You break down, and calm down soon after. But this time I cried. I was alone. No one could watch me. No one could feel me. I cried. Maybe I howled. Maybe I wailed. When I realized, I could see lights sparkling in the distance. I never wiped the tears. The breeze carried them off.
It has been a horrible last 24 hours for me, probably one of the worst such periods in recent times. I haven’t yet listened to your voice. But yeah, now, I understand not listening to the melody kills me inside, yet I fear this doesn’t set a precedent for days to come. And yet maybe I needed this.
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I sat down trying to analyze what exactly went wrong. Initially it was the lack of dedication which rubbed me the wrong way. The depths made me understand I always had the dedication within me. The lack of motivation did me in. I can work hard. I can be very determined. I can achieve. But for all that I need a plethora of motivation.
I had been having a talk with D. She somehow makes me believe I am capable of much more. She somehow makes me think I can do things beyond the ordinary. I don’t know what spurs her to think this way but I believe in her.
D, I have lots to learn from you. Your hard work ethic, your dedication, your will. Somehow somewhere I have lost that down the tracks of age. I will rediscover all that. I will try to. All I need is you by my side. Always.
Nothing in the ordinary inspires me anymore. The common motivations fail for me. Maybe I get too idealistic at times, but I will try as much as I can to cling on to my principles.
I have the pluck to fight a losing battle. I can survive ordeal. I have the courage. I still lack the purpose. Once I get a whiff of that, I know who I can be.
I can make a difference.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I try and stay awake only to find myself going into a haunted nightmare. I’m not sleeping. I can’t sleep. I won’t sleep. Everytime I go to bed the flashing image overtakes me, taking me into the depths of hell and beneath. I wake up everytime and find tears smudged. And then I find you.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
I keep pressing the red button on my cell, eagerly hoping to find the screen showing message(s) received or (a) missed call.
I have stopped smoking atleast for the next 15 days. I’m taking small steps at a time.
I wake up in the morning, check my cell, notice no new messages and go back to sleep. Alarm rings, I wake up again. If I don’t find a message I try going back to sleep unless the situation provokes me otherwise.
I have had a haircut.
My room has been littered with books and copies and notes and files for the past 3 days, since they have had to be shifted from the table, which I am presently using for completing the drawing sheets.
I have no work to do. The previous statement is an absolute misnomer right now.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The door was ajar. Even though it was dark around, the patch of moonlight lit up the floor. Away, a couple of shadows lengthened gradually. He had his arms around her. She had her head on his chest listening to his heartbeats. As they stared upwards into clear sky, with stars peeking at them and an airplane leaving its trail along and thoughts of shooting stars clouding them, he whispered sweet nothings. She merely replied,” I love you too.” And then it was quiet again.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Sunday, February 07, 2010
I failed to see the reason, if only it was to let go after a downtown journey.
I reasoned to myself to realize I possessed something others don’t.
I gave myself enough room to live it up.
I am destined for a destiny I write of my own.
It gives a power to do and explore what I have inside.
I am what I am ‘cause
To be able to surrender is a curse I find less appealing than a boon to give up what you own.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
You are gone.
I am left on probation.
You would stay awake.
I would lull you to sleep.
You would talk.
I would listen.
You would chatter.
I would patter.
You would sing.
I would compose.
You would dance.
I would match the steps.
You would run.
I would egg you on.
You would cross the road.
I would hold your shaking hands.
You would work.
I would wait.
You would laugh.
I would make it my only music.
You would cry.
I would take you in my arms.
You would make faces.
I would tease you.
You would shout.
I would be calm.
You would be silent.
I would scream.
You would love me.
I would love you.
And then, you were gone.
I looked around.
I found none.
I ran searching for your trails.
I encountered failures.
I was daunted.
But, I never gave up.
I had my obsession.
I had my dream.
But then you realize, dreams are just dreams after all.
The walls crashed.
And then came a time, when I stopped running after you.
I chased your shadows.
Black and Grey.
Never Red, Ivory Blue.
I caught you many times.
But I could never hold on to you.
I ceased to follow.
I learnt to let go while holding on.
Friday, January 08, 2010
It’s been a funny start to the year.
It’s been only 8 days old, and I’ve gotten drunk 3 times already. And as usual, I haven’t gotten high. So I am now shifting gears to beer ensuring a beer belly. Anyways I am not spilling over.
I tried my hand at designing chemical equipments. Strange how easy it seems, and how the designs seem to fail with weird logics. And how we’ve had to progress without any help from a ‘concerned’ teacher who has ‘forgotten to design’ because he last did it 10 years back.
I restarted CAT classes. Seems like it’s time to buck up. I need to START, and I mean literally and figuratively.
I’ve managed to bathe in cold (icy) water through the dipping temperatures.
I’ve been able to finally write my own college classes schedule in the diary. When I was a fresher, friends did it for me, when I got promoted, the new freshers’ were the honoraries.
I’ve had yummy chocolate cake prepared by MD. She brought it to college to treat us.
I hear that tomorrow’s a highly probable holiday only to find it was a rumour. Jyoti Basu is still alive.
I now come to know I won’t be able to sleep till 10 in the morning till maybe next weekend, ‘coz even the coming Sunday has a family ceremony in place.
I post on back to back days!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
One of the infinite specks of dust
Settles on the table.
I keep staring.
Morbid translucence rears its head,
A buzz quivers and stings.
I turn around,
Recover to rigidity.
I keep staring.
The clock strikes
The chilly mist shakes me,
And yet I keep staring .
And I stare at it.
Longing to open…my eyes
When all I’ve been doing is…