A Year That Was

Sometimes its better that the present is left behind too. And that’s when the present doesn’t seem to gel. We all talk a lot about leaving behind the past, moving on, getting to think about the future. Sometimes its heaven to climb the mountain of justice, and yet once conquered no mystique remains. Reminds me of a Akon song, where there’s a tagline of “When you have everything, what can you possibly desire?” My version goes ,”When you probably have nothing, what could you possibly not desire?” As the year ends, a good deal still remains to be recorrected and resurrected. Things could so very easily have been different, but destiny does play its hand.

A year which started off on a good note. Went from good to average to bad to worse to worst to average again! A year which I started literally flying, then crashed heads down, and lost it all. Not that I’ve begun to fly again, I’ll probably never do that again, have learnt that lesson. Just started walking, took me a lot of time to stand up, with a bit of support. A year when The Dream was dashed, when all principles got its rigid test of all time. Something like the Borsalino Test. Everything faded, but thank my stars my principles stood it stuttering along. Probably the only golden lining in the the dashed and dotted sky!

Its all been on a personal note. The general feel of the year, well we all can take a glimpse of how the year unfolded on the idiot box. But there are many things which are not covered, which sometimes are best left out of the glare. Right now am pretty mosh-faced. Have not felt pain for sometime now. Don’t let anything affect me. Yet stay straight faced. So many things happening all around, yet as I mentioned once earlier on blogosphere, have become a Hollowman! Have mastered the art of being able to get into everything and yet stay kissing the surface, somehow scratching the superficial sub-layer of everything.

And yes I wanna thank a few people for being with me when I think I’d have just left this world if they had not intercepted…ABD,RB(1),AD,AB,MG,RB(2),DM,SG. These persons I’m ever thankful to. And above all to the person who has changed my life all over single handedly-SRC, Thanks! Not many words for you, but if you had not treated me that way, I would probably never have realized what love, pain, sacrifice, truth, respect, friendship, happiness, loss, Heaven & Hell is! Kudos to one person who could make me feel all of that plethora of emotions all alone. Thank You!

I don’t have a habit of making resolutions. And I’ll never cultivate that habit either! Resolutions are just meant to be broken, just like records. For me now every day is a new day, and so probably that why the new year doesn’t hold much more significance for me except the coming year won’t be a leap year!

Happy new year to all of you…may the comimg year bring all the prosperity, and lets try to control AIDS, and combat terrorism with our best possible weapons, we ourselves…

P.S. : watch out for the next post. It will feature an underground research, that is if you have any interest in such things! Till then …

Imprints

Was a time when you weren’t there

I was rising.

Sitting atop a hill,

I was fantasizing.

Keeping to myself.

Was a time when I was small.

When that early rhyme

Made it all.

When that baby ball found its way

My arms aloft

Appraise from the hall.

Was a time when I was young.

When youthful love was in its prime.

When victories counted

And defeats jeered.

When life seemed what it was not.

Was a time when I was in youth

As life grinded the dreams of truth.

As dark silently creeped its way

While the eyes kept whooshing it away.

Was a time when I’d be old.

When I’d wonder what became of told?

When my life would be crissed and crossed along

By the faint lines and darker, behold!

When my heart would be pressed and impressed

By those stealthy imprints of sinister happiness.

Feeling the moment

Feeling the moment

----- Feeder

Feeling the moment the slip away
Losing direction you're losing faith
You're wishing for someone
Feeling it all begin to slide
Am I just like you
All the things you do - can't help myself

How do you feel when there's no sun
How do you feel when rain drops come pouring down again
How do you feel when there's no one
Am I just like you

Turning to face what you've become
Bury the ashes of someone
Broken by the strain
Trying to fill that space inside
Am I just like you
All the things you do - can't help myself

How do you feel when there's no sun
How do you feel when rain drops come pouring down again
How do you feel when there's no one
Am I just like you
All the things you do

Don't ever feel
that you're alone
I'll never let you down
I'll never leave you dry
Don't fall apart
Don't let it go
Carry the motion
Carry the motion back to me

Feeling the moment the slip away
Feeling the moment the slip away

Am I just like you

How do you feel when there's no sun
How do you feel when rain drops come pouring down again
How do you feel when there's no one
Am I just like you



P.S. : True Words ring out loud...

Fascinations

What is our fascination with everything foreign? Why is it our inner psyche always reaches out heartily to the outsiders while indigenous home grown stunts don’t get their due. Why is it we look at ‘America’ for high level of studies? Yeah I agree the standards are pretty high there…as compared to here, but its been a helluva time which we could have utilized to bring our standards up to the mark…been a long 61+ years of independence…a long enough time to go past the’ phorens’…why isn’t that others outside would want to visit here to make it a pride of their own that they have been to india…why is it the so-called low fare tourist places is India…why isn’t it that this country can be the object of a millions of billions? Why is it that terrorist attacks in India always brand the place as too unsafe while seemingly worse situations don’t break the fame and name of western places? Why is it that Indians are made out to be weaker than their Western counterparts? Why is it that empathy goes out to the victims outside and mere sympathy to the Indians? Why is it we are looked down upon? Why is it that that Indians have to take it upon themselves to secure a hi-profile jobs in foreign shores, feeling the pinch of outsourcing and continuing threats of disbanding the outsourcing scheme,rendering thousands job-less? Why isn’t it that foreigners look to India to secure jobs and accord the country and its people the respect they so richly deserve? Why is it that the country still can’t take a decision keeping the common man in mind but only for the greed of the good-for-nothing politicians? Why is it we go crazy-hazy over every western celebrity while our own talents are grossly under-nourished? Why is it we criticize our own system of not producing the talent and efficiency? Why is it we look starry-eyed at the Oscars wondering when will an Indian get one? Why is it do we think that we don’t have that quality? Why is it we don’t make the big guns of the foreign world aim for our filmfare awards? Maybe we could set up a foreign category in filmfare awards and allow Hollywood films to apply in that category…Why is it we hocus –pocus on one failure of a sachin tendulkar while laughing aloud, without any sarcastic-ness, at the ‘bushisms’ and applaud him? Why is it we snatch the hornets out of those with the real attitude by branding him a trouble maker? Why is it so many of our past heritage is withering away while we are gaga over the new hotel in Dubai? Why is it we do all the big talk about doing the thing and end up doing nothing except just saying ”this A and B is responsible for this mishap , not me”?why is it we so terribly want to accept the proven instead of encouraging to prove the unproven?

And let me come clean. Am not a Indian basher and all others for just speaking it and not doing it. Am not criticizing our fathers for their inability to convert us into super-standard levels. If they haven’t been able to that, they have done a very important job of building the base. Its upto us to consolidate. Indians aren’t weak and you know that better than any other person would tell you. We have been ,under circumstances, dependent on the outside powers. Its time to break the shackles and break free. Its time we tower over others and leave the big talk to others. Its time to say “the buck stops with me and I’ll do the required somehow or the other to make it work”. Its time to stop calling the system a bullshit and somehow start changing ourselves to improve the system instead of leaving it for someone else. Its time we stopped listening to false political promises and untoward gains and stand up. Its time we call a spade a spade. Its time for dreams to fly. Its time to fly without wings. Its time to tell our inner souls that we are the best and bring ourselves to the forefront. Its time to call the real ‘us’ inside us and shout out and wonder “Why is it we tend to rust and weather ourself and our enormous potential leaving the fascinations to be unveiled to others?”

Unbreakable

Unbreakable

---Westlife

Took my hands, touched my heart
Held me close, you were always there
By my side, night and day
Through it all, baby come what may
Swept away on a wave of emotion
Oh we’re caught in the eye of the storm
And whenever you smile I can hardly believe that you’re mine
Believe that you’re mine

This love is unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
And each time I look in your eyes
I know why
This love is untouchable
A feeling my heart just can’t deny
Each time I look in your eyes, oh baby
I know why
This love is unbreakable

Share the laughter, share the tears
We both know we’ll go on from here
Cos together, we are strong
In my arms, that’s where you belong
I’ve been touched by the hands of an angel
I’ve been blessed by the power of love
And whenever you smile, I can hardly believe that you’re mine

This love is unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
Each time I look in your eyes
I know why
This love is untouchable
A feeling my heart just can’t deny
Each time you whisper my name, oh baby
I know why

This love is unbreakable
Through fire and flame
When all this is over
Our love still remains

This love is unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
Each time I look in your eyes
I know why
This love is untouchable
A feeling my heart just can’t deny
Each time you whisper my name, oh baby
I know why
Cos each time I look in your eyes, oh baby
I know why,
This love is unbreakable

P.S.::::::: These lyrics somehow seem to expose my dreamy-eyed-ness without failing...amazing lyrics and amazing soundtrack...