I sat down trying to analyze what exactly went wrong. Initially it was the lack of dedication which rubbed me the wrong way. The depths made me understand I always had the dedication within me. The lack of motivation did me in. I can work hard. I can be very determined. I can achieve. But for all that I need a plethora of motivation.
I had been having a talk with D. She somehow makes me believe I am capable of much more. She somehow makes me think I can do things beyond the ordinary. I don’t know what spurs her to think this way but I believe in her.
D, I have lots to learn from you. Your hard work ethic, your dedication, your will. Somehow somewhere I have lost that down the tracks of age. I will rediscover all that. I will try to. All I need is you by my side. Always.
Nothing in the ordinary inspires me anymore. The common motivations fail for me. Maybe I get too idealistic at times, but I will try as much as I can to cling on to my principles.
I have the pluck to fight a losing battle. I can survive ordeal. I have the courage. I still lack the purpose. Once I get a whiff of that, I know who I can be.
I can make a difference.