I think this is something I will do and end up postponing it. I am stuck up in a job which gives me no time for myself. But with all my contradictory mind I get the feeling if I had early evenings home, I would have ended up wasting them. There is so much to do. I have, or (for the currently over lethargic me) had so many ideas. I don't follow up on them. I think of studying up for something which throws me into utter confusion about what to do with my career. I think of teaching the under privileged with the ever pugnacious thoughts of the forced-workaholic me working behind the scenes in the mind. I think of playing/practising the guitar with 'tomorrow' coming to the rescue of my un-acting self. I think everyday I will work on some fitness, go for a run early in the morning only to do it once and then forget it for the next 45 days and keep up the encouragement for my increasing bulge. Probably the only thing I actually end up doing the way I want to is talking to/with D.
Honestly, I pity myself for what I have become.
If I still don't act, all I will end up with is blaming myself and getting caught up in the blamegame with myself.
Buckle up buddy, before it is too late...