Caught up in an old world

I was married. I don't have any papers.
I am divorced. I don't have the 'proof' for that either.
I would have, someday, been the father of your child.
I will not have my Arya. Maybe you will have yours.

Happy Birthday D

A birthday is but another day,

When I can sing for you,

When I can fill your day with surprises,

When I can hold your hand and lead you blindfolded,

When I can wait drenched to see that awe smile,

When we can sip wine lost in the aroma of love,

When I can say I Love you,

And hear it more,

Thus could happen yesterday, today, tomorrow.

Thus could happen now.

A birthday is but another day.

Happy Birthday D

A sweetheart card

A classy wristwatch

2 roses of the yellow kind

2 of the rosy red

22 eclairs

Earrings

A Pendant

And most importantly, a time to savour which I spent with you ...

Rain on a misty cold December morning

There are few occasions, especially in Kolkata, when you’d have rain on a cold winter morning. It’s incredibly depressing to even hear that, let alone watch it. But there is that charm, that wet coldness which stirs the inside of you. It doesn’t rattle you. It doesn’t numb you. It begs you to step up, to be counted.

After an exam season worth remembering and not remembering both, the first morning I wake up to find a misty-wet-early December morning made me realize that the typical everyday-chilly-wet-mountain mornings could also be found on the plains. It made me yearn ever yet again to be curled up somewhere in the hills. And with D beside me. As always.

This is how I see us now.

This is how I see us in the future.

This is how I see us always.

15/10/10

Sometimes somethings are beautiful. Some ‘times’ are just beautiful. You can’t describe them in words. It wouldn’t do justice.

Beauty isn’t in what you can always express. Beauty isn’t always the one to be caught on celluloid. Beauty isn’t the one to be chased in elusive pursuit. Beauty is to be cherished. Beauty is pure; tranquil; quintessential on the outside, a big bubble in reality, a bubble which can never burst. Beauty is us.

The moments, those which can drown the darkest of sorrows and brighten the life beyond the realms of nothingness, are priceless.

You make me.
You complete me.
You are in me.
Always.
Forever.

I love you.

Mohastami. Durgastami. Auspicious. Momentous. Special.

It’s all worth it.

It's beautiful.

What of the time when I am not with you. When I only have to rei(g)n in the afterglow. When I have to go yearning for you while oblivious to the world. I am oblivious now. I am in tears. I don’t believe myself while I am writing. I dread to discover your pain. I can’t do without knowing that either. I can give my life for you. I know I don’t need to do that, but you are everything. E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  I can’t live without you. I love you.

Today meant a lot. A “l.o.t” as you say it. God Bless.

I can't

I can’t take it when you say it’s a waste.

I can’t take it when you say don’t.

I can’t see us parting on that note.

I can’t see when you leave in a huff.

I can’t leave without a troika.

I can’t go without a feather touch.

I can’t bear a loss of opportunities.

I can’t think of anyone but you.

I can’t live without you.

Something

There’s something about those strands falling over your eyes

There’s something about those deep dark eyes

There’s something about those luscious lips of yours.

There’s something about those dimpled cheeks

There’s too much I’ll miss now

There’s nothing more than you’d take me along with you

There’s you and me going over and over, again!

Bliss

The door was ajar. Even though it was dark around, the patch of moonlight lit up the floor. Away, a couple of shadows lengthened gradually. He had his arms around her. She had her head on his chest listening to his heartbeats. As they stared upwards into clear sky, with stars peeking at them and an airplane leaving its trail along and thoughts of shooting stars clouding them, he whispered sweet nothings. She merely replied,” I love you too.” And then it was quiet again.

Loveducation

You are gone.

I am left on probation.

You would stay awake.

I would lull you to sleep.

You would talk.

I would listen.

You would chatter.

I would patter.

You would sing.

I would compose.

You would dance.

I would match the steps.

You would run.

I would egg you on.

You would cross the road.

I would hold your shaking hands.

You would work.

I would wait.

You would laugh.

I would make it my only music.

You would cry.

I would take you in my arms.

You would make faces.

I would tease you.

You would shout.

I would be calm.

You would be silent.

I would scream.

You would love me.

I would love you.

And then, you were gone.

I looked around.

I found none.

I ran searching for your trails.

I encountered failures.

I was daunted.

But, I never gave up.

I had my obsession.

I had my dream.

But then you realize, dreams are just dreams after all.

The walls crashed.

And then came a time, when I stopped running after you.

I chased your shadows.

Black and Grey.

Never White.

Never Red, Ivory Blue.

I caught you many times.

But I could never hold on to you.

I ceased to follow.

I learnt to let go while holding on.

( Love is ) ...

Feeling blue

Too good to be true

Beautiful

Harsh

Eager

Hopeful

Yet, heart wrenching

Music

Noise

Stress

Pain

Everything when you can’t think of the gain

Dramatic

More of a melodrama

Faked by many

Yet, more real than reality.

Royal

Driving a Porsche on the highway

Steering an yacht on the waves

Flying seamless

Gliding translucence

A box of chocolates

Beef steak with chilled beer

Whiskey with tandoori kebabs

Chocolate mousse

Sleeping on the terrace on a starlit night

Watching the faraway twinkling lights of a hill-station

Chatting your heart out

Fagging till eternity

Walking on the railing holding the other's hand

A cup of Darjeeling tea

Cappuccino

Walking hand in hand

Sleeping in each other’s arms

Smiling when you’re supposed to apologize

Laughing when you’re asked to cry

Quarreling when you’re about to appease

Wearing that shirt everyday

Spraying that perfume

Being her rockstar

Being his Dutch dame

Red

Black

Something that you can’t crack

Her picture on your desktop

His mail starred in g-mail

Indispensable

Unrecognizable

Untouchable

Perfectly imperfect

Passionate

Impressively ignorant

Returning to roots

Giving in to insane demands

Being dil-logical

Being a loser for the world,

Being a winner for the One

The unfeeling kiss

The devil smirking within you

Trespassing

Tragic shadows of spring

That perched photograph

That souvenir of immoral love

Unfaithfulness

Faithfully due to yourself

The tranquil ambiance of the rainbow

Sacrifice of your dreams

Yielding while you’re strongest

Standing up at your weakest

Floating on heaven while it’s still there

Loving while it’s not …

For You, but, For me

You might not be the prettiest, but
For me You're the most beautiful.
You might not be the best, but
For me You're better than the best.
You might be cheerful with me not around, but
For me my efforts were always to never make you cry.
You might pretend to be matured, but
For me I preferred you my small girl.
For you, I might be a sad after-thought, but
For me You're the bud which blooms everyday.
I might be the one who couldn't keep you happy, but
For me its you who's made me disenchanted.
You lied countlessly, i tried to forget, but
For me, I uttered nothing further from the truth.
For you, I might be the epitome of hell, but
For me, You're the elixir of life.
For me, as for always.
For you, I might have been a thrown-away memory, but
For me You're a sad song which gave me smiles galore and tears abound.
I'm but a light scar in your effervescent heart, but
For me which as ceased to break me in futality.
For you, I might have been dead, but
For me You're my incomplete life.
You tend to live without me, but
For me I die for want of you.