Sunday, October 19, 2008

' Name Me ... '

 The train was billowing past the barren land. He was on vacation. Far from the monotonous drag of life he had decided to speed his way through to the desert. He wasn’t alone. A compartment or two full of eager passengers accompanied him. He also had another companion, whose presence he hadn’t bargained for. It was her. She wasn’t there in the compartment but was invading his thoughts time and time again. He was totally unprepared.


It wasn’t the first time he had the hots for a girl, neither would it be the last time. But somehow this was different. School life ,which had entered its last lap somehow got him very nostalgic. And somehow amidst the strong heat wave blowing across his face he seemed to miss her voice. How funnily overwhelming was that feeling!

His mind went back to the times he spent with her. It was sheer fun! The long chats, the naughty looks, the walking back home episodes, the steal-a-minute phone calls, the fun of having fun! How weird…why was it that she struck him like this? They were after all just friends…best buddies…close-knit…but why was he feeling so very helpless? He had other friends too…it wasn’t that he didn’t have fun with the rest of them but somehow somewhere fleetingly he realized it probably wasn’t the same without her…

Reaching the hotel he called her up. They chatted, it was nothing different, was it? She ranted on about her life and how she was missing him, and how she hoped he would enjoy his trip, and come back and tell her the accounts. And then he hung up. That night he didn’t sleep. An unconscious voice told him,’ maybe the time had come to take their friendship to the next level.’ And a subconscious one told him, ’maybe this wasn’t the time for all that.’


A double couple of months later. School was to end soon. Everywhere around the mood was understandably a bit gloomy. Friends and friends of friends were busy with slam-books and diaries. No-one was really happy about this change of phase. Even he wasn’t.  Yet again, somehow her to-be-absence bothered him much more. He couldn’t restrain himself further. He had to have a talk with her regarding their ‘friendship’.


It all happened in their common tuition class. He told her he felt specially for her, something different than anything before. She confessed it was the same for her, but she was confused. The word ,’love’ hadn’t been uttered yet. Neither could come along to say those three magical words. Maybe they had a loss of courage or maybe their feelings weren’t strong enough. He told her ,‘ Let’s take forward this friendship and give a name to it.’ She again steadfast refused, asking meekly, ‘What name would you give it?’


They never talked about this again…



Days passed by. College had started. Him & her were in different streams now. They hardly met, but did not let that become a deterrent in their fun-n-frolic filled friendship. Slowly time built its wall around them. Both got busy, gradually getting embellished in their own lives. Tragically yet tellingly they drifted apart.


Six years later. He received a letter. A marriage reception invitation. He was struck by the name. It was her. She had married and her marriage reception was overdue six months. It struck him odd. She had gotten married and didn’t even bother to tell him. He felt a surge of anger. And then he remembered with a chill how they hardly were in contact with each other. Strange are the ways of life. He recollected with a thud that fateful evening in that tuition class. He decided he would certainly go and wish the married couple a gay life ahead.


A glittery evening, adorned all around with startling chandeliers and statuettes and starlets. A grand party. And then he met her. Suppressing the underlying tension, he went ahead. He spoke and wished her, except that no words came out. He just kept staring. He was suddenly crushed, and from her expression it seemed so was she. Some anonymous feeling with a dash of long overdue screamed out , ‘Name me …’ 

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Tagged ...

here i am ... tagged ... finaly got some idea about this taggin phenomena... oops...forgot to mention was tagged by mayuri .. n hey mayuri , u got the spelling of my name wrong!!! [:p]

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
RULE #2 Tag 3 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people..

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Those who know me personally will know the answer !!!
2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
To make the world happy and smile,even if it be at my happiness' cost
3. Whose butt would you like to kick? 
The cigarette's !!!
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
use it for social causes ...

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Does love come with a tagline of not falling for your best friend ?? if your best friend is that lucky person then nothing's better...b'coz no-one shall understand you better !!

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone ...when that person is the one you love ... that's pure heavenly bliss !!!

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
a lifetime if so be it ....

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
after all my happiness lies in her il wish n pray for her always...
9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
malnourished and famished children and neglected senior persons ...
10. What takes you down the fastest?
just one person's got the ability to puncture my numbness and shatter me...still haven't gotten used to it !!
11. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
let 1 year pass by..then we'll look at 10 years...
12. What's your fear?
The Fear of Fear

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
this blog would be far too short a place to write all that !!! for now i'll just say she's a great friend !!!!
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
married and poor ... 

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
Think of that one person !!!

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
i'm bilaterally symmetrical am i not ???[:p]
17. Would you give all in a relationship?
Absolutely ... 'coz for me its once in a lifetime !!!
18. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has 
Forgive...but i dont forget easily ...

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
relationship -> a real and fulfilling one....

20. List of 3 people to tag:


Thursday, October 02, 2008

Imagine ... and imagination ... and a whole lot of shit ...

Sometimes imagination is everything ... 
( four words from jane austen )


 This could well be just a piece of random arbitrary keys pressed together...or could well be the design of a chess board ... when kept unarranged would look something like this making no sense at all....                                           


   Yet ... with a little bit of imagination ... could explain it as a road with police dividers on either side and the two similar ones on the left kept as if to limit the traffic flow....
   it could also be a freeze frame of a video game screen where there is a race going on and there's one "car" leading and well on its way across the 'chequered flag'...
  and yet it could mean just nothing ... 

   its this imagination ... this power to think of the unthinkable which so separates each from the rest... the various interpretations ... the various thoughts to cross the mind ... the various arguments put forth silently in the mind ... the criss-crossing of the ideas that crash and well clash ... the real whacky ones coming out in the open ... and then hushing it all up n rebuking oneself for being so very whacky with a wry smile ... 
   its this imagination ... which dreams big ...sometimes being mean... sometimes being unselfish ... makes you cry while thinking of the future as a living hell... makes u smile n happy while imagining it to be a smooth road ... gives you the power to laugh while thinking of the funny memories and gives you a high while looking ahead at the bed of roses ... suddenly realizing the presence of thorns and then thinking of fighting & sweating & struggling it out... and imagining yourself to be so very defeated ...
  its this imagination ... whch solely with the capacity to imagine so very reservedly changes your life ... keeps you updated with the present and keeps you in touch with the future ... so why does everyone run away from this power always belittling it... am not saying that everyone despises imagining .. am neither saying one should always imagine things ... but why are most of the people criticized for imagination? controversial statement,huh ? you bet it is ... but aren't most of the students told off for day-dreaming ? arent we always reminded that imagination leads us nowhere,its just the reality-check which will keep us alive ? many of you who will read dis piece will say "no way , imagination is in big time and keeping it active in various forms through the creativity all around need the power of imagination .. so what are you speakin?" .. but thats a very small percentage ... how many of those around us are really very genuine?? how many really do exercise their creativity?? most are more deeply engrossed in the books of success and would rather let curbing their natural flair for creative ideas for the mere craving for fame ...  trust me, not everyone has the power to day-dream... its always been propagated that its a mere waste of time ... but only those who really understand the art and feel it will be able to say that it can help you tide over various things in tandem ... and yes its an art ... and an art with the unique ability to overlap emotions ,wishes ,hopes ,dreams and reality ...

 So why not dare to dream and day-dream as well and keep the imaginative juices flowing...??
and why not with the late john lennon with his " imagine "

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one