Bring it on. I wonder what it feels like. I seem to have forgotten it. The pump in the air - the frown on the face – the exhilaration of winning – the joy of enjoying!
For the last few months. Three or four to be precise, I withdrew myself into a shell. I know I wasn’t myself. I had lost the motivation. I simply had lost sight of the aim, the objective, the glory. I had become way too used to everyday life. Nothing really worked me up. It was mundane. Studies didn’t attract me, inspite of the fact that my awful results should have gotten me working double hard. Games and sports- I stopped actively participating in. Maybe sometimes a few rounds of cards were all that I had. I didn’t practice the guitar playing. It was wrapped and kept in a corner of the room, with moults of dust accumulating on it. I didn’t bother to clean up the mess in my room, and it resembled a perfectly hostile bunker until lately. I haven’t been to the photographic club in ages, thereby inviting occasional wrath and sarcasm from fellow members. :P . I even didn’t go regularly to college, something unthinkable for the likes of me. I became not disinterestedly lazy, but willingly unfazed. Procrastination bore its deep olive like roots in me. I even took a sabbatical from blogging and writing pieces. I had just lost the interest in everything.And all I did in this period was some much due self introspection.
Now. Honestly speaking, I feel so good. A break was needed. I might not have walked much ahead, but I sure did chart out my path for the future. I feel so rejuvenated now. And truly though it sounds so typical, I feel I have recovered back my posture now. I have begun to study. I am once again taking an active interest in sports and travelogues. I feel lighter, and the urge to fight is back. The will to win is popping out here and there. Been quite sometime since I’ve been on such a cloud. The intensity is back. Self belief, which I had not been able to find in the past year or so has miraculously made a comeback. Maybe I can’t improve by hell to heaven in the upcoming semz but I’ll sure give it a shot without losing myself in the bargain. After all I gotta be somebody who I already am. Not a nobody who I never was…
You can´t give up!
Looking for that diamond in the rough
You never know but when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.