Honesty is well on its way to death. All around I see fake. Its all an illusion.
I am pretty lonesome in thinking this way I guess. But experiences through life – recent and past have just strengthened my belief. A person behaves with another as if he is a bosom friend. Another treats a lover with ultimate sincerity. Yet another shows how benevolent he can be. All appeal to me as enormously respectable emotions. But somewhere down the line I realise , with utter shock and contempt, that I am wrong. In fact how utterly wrong can I be!
One person feels something in a certain way about something. He or she presents it to another person as something entirely else. And something totally different to someone somewhere else. Versions change, with situations, with persons, with contemptuous interactions. You might seem to be a so very much loved person all around until you discover, that horrible impressions and gossips have gone to great lengths about you. Again you yourself might present something in a certain fashion which is not entirely true and you are caught on the wrong foot, few people would own up to a mistake. Most would prefer to wind around the topic keeping on suggesting that he was right.
I appreciate those who speak their mind and who speak it aloud and true. Ruffles a few feathers, sure… but that integrity of the words do stand… I have always despised those who maintain such double standards, changing colours at the drop of a hat. But something I have believed, some vices are in-borne and some are developed with time… The from-birth ones cannot be changed, but something which I firmly believed that one could ,with high determination, change those qualities acquired with time and situations and re-convert them to better virtues, until now…somethings can never be changed…the main reason which I blame for this is the ability to fake it out. Ultimately with all the illusions which one provides to the world, the ultimate one who’s getting betrayed is the person itself. Days, months, years go by…belief’s are eroded…truths are converted into lies…and vice-versa…but in the end without being true to oneself, does one really win the game? And the big poser, does it even matter?
I dunno the answer but from all around the general feel I get is it does not really matter. The eternal cliched line, “life goes on”…betrayals..upheavals..lies..truths..facts..figures..honesty..integrity..sincerity..and all the abstracts abut life..nothing stays..they all get burnt out and buried..or they don’t? only death can answer that I guess…but my principles and faith, somehow there’s been a serious attack on them, unbelievingly everything seems so very fake at the moment…wish I could be faking it all..and faking it real hard…maybe the art of life itself is a fake …