Saturday, February 12, 2011

Recounting BQC

Almost 10 and a half years ago, I happened to be at Mumbai. Back then the confusion still reigned if it was Bombay or Mumbai.

Bright yellow lights burned me for an hour and a half. I had make-up applied on my face against my wishes. And then suddenly it was all dark. There was a huge roar. It stayed that way for 4 and a half hours. Stuck up at my seat, I was barred from moving about. A small microphone, which failed to work due to the power-cut, attached beneath my shirt.

Four and a half hours later the action resumed. An hour later, I was broken.

A few drops fell clinging onto my cheeks. I didn't howl. Sampa Ma'am consoled me. No one saw the howls I silently screamed alone in my room.

The dream was lost. The inconsolable me knew myself. I could have been there holding my forte against all the warriors. But I learned something that day. An individual counts. A team can fall crashing when one individual fails, all because the individual counts.

Those scenes revisit me today, as I clean my CD-rack and come across the recording.

I still think about the ifs and buts. I still wonder I was a hair's length away. I still marvel how one incorrect answer can change the mindset and the temperament. The pain is still raw today. Since, I have learnt to fine-tune myself.

Life often doesn't give a second chance. Now, maybe I think I don't need that chance anymore. The experience, the lesson counts.


  1. painful.
    the bigger a stake, the bigger the loss
    but I guess, just as we feel proud of big wins, we also feel proud of big losses, at some deeper level

    on an altogether different note, I confess hating BQC. never enjoyed watching it.

  2. haha...well life doesnt gives second chance...dont wait up for it...else it wont be so exciting anyways!! the fact the long run...nothing actually matters as an individual failure