Saturday, February 12, 2011

Recounting BQC


Almost 10 and a half years ago, I happened to be at Mumbai. Back then the confusion still reigned if it was Bombay or Mumbai.


Bright yellow lights burned me for an hour and a half. I had make-up applied on my face against my wishes. And then suddenly it was all dark. There was a huge roar. It stayed that way for 4 and a half hours. Stuck up at my seat, I was barred from moving about. A small microphone, which failed to work due to the power-cut, attached beneath my shirt.


Four and a half hours later the action resumed. An hour later, I was broken.


A few drops fell clinging onto my cheeks. I didn't howl. Sampa Ma'am consoled me. No one saw the howls I silently screamed alone in my room.


The dream was lost. The inconsolable me knew myself. I could have been there holding my forte against all the warriors. But I learned something that day. An individual counts. A team can fall crashing when one individual fails, all because the individual counts.


Those scenes revisit me today, as I clean my CD-rack and come across the recording.


I still think about the ifs and buts. I still wonder I was a hair's length away. I still marvel how one incorrect answer can change the mindset and the temperament. The pain is still raw today. Since, I have learnt to fine-tune myself.


Life often doesn't give a second chance. Now, maybe I think I don't need that chance anymore. The experience, the lesson counts.

2 comments:

  1. painful.
    the bigger a stake, the bigger the loss
    but I guess, just as we feel proud of big wins, we also feel proud of big losses, at some deeper level

    on an altogether different note, I confess hating BQC. never enjoyed watching it.

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  2. haha...well life doesnt gives second chance...dont wait up for it...else it wont be so exciting anyways!! the fact is...in the long run...nothing actually matters as an individual failure

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