Hollow-Man

No thoughts to speak about…yet so many thoughts just playing peek-a-boo…feeling hellish, alone, deserted … feeling so full of life…yet so very much incomplete…not at all into studies…not at all into anything…just scratching the superficial sub-layer of the wide stream of Everything…surfing the pages of “The theory of everything” by Stephen Hawking…bored…listening to sentimental rock…whoa a new genre of rock discovered and christened by me(or someone has already done it before me? ;-) )!!! … writing a couple of lines on word and then deleting…scratching the back of my head about what to write…thinking about the aimless-ness of my life…what’s the purpose???...”tum ho toh” playing…truly…what a life it would have been…pending exams…the ability to get help from known quarters on those days…to hell with studies…the lost friend’s memories…memories…a devastating word…brings back soo many things…no way…distract yourself boy!! … the long-impending hair-cut…the ponytail…tragic story of not a single photo being clicked of it…CHEMARADERIE’08…nice day it was…its preps helped me delve deep into something…DJ and the dancing…interaction…nice term…and whats everything without interaction??...1 year back…nooo not again…to HELL with memories…gotta rearrange my bookshelf…far too many books lying here and there…and also gotta make a trip to the library…wanna read Shantaram…but forgotten the name of the author…dammit!!...cant recollect…it used to be my specialty…was so damn good at quizzing and all…where’s all that gone now??...just lost all of that ability I guess…

happens…lost all motivation…hollow…feels just like hollow-man…whoa I’m the hollow-man!!...feels awesome…mastered an amazing ability to get into everything and yet stay just kissing the surface…numbed…or is it numb?...helps to stay in control…who is this speaking?...its my mind…nonsense…need a fag…lit the cig…curling smoke shrouds the front of the screen…”here I am” by bryan adams…my fav song…used to motivate me so very much…can it bring back that spark??...that spontaneous reaction of the feeling of going out there and conquering the world…seems so easy…its not soo easy…life’s taught me that the hard way…kept going and trying to no avail…memories again…O GOD!! What is it with this word??won’t it stop clinging onto me like a radio tied to my back??ever???...a quote comes to my mind…”One of the reasons why people hold onto memories so tight, is because memories are the only things that don’t change even when people behind those memories change…”…truly…be it for good or bad…now not again..no more philo n gyaan…too boring…distract man…need to learn playng the notes of the guitar..yeah meaningful workout…that’s what can keep me occupied now that the freshers welcome is over and nothing really to bide my time on…now the lyadh’s getting to me…the ever perennial JU lyadh ,fighting so long to take a stranglehold since the past 20 minutes, takes over…cant write anymore…

 

A small peek into the thoughts…others might not like it…dunt care…just felt like writing…just somehow feels nice..yeah even for this hollowman…lol !!...ending with another quote…”I’m propagating a unicameral form of idiosyncrasy occurring malevolently in the meritorious part of the claterubial brain…”…in short I’m remembering you…you see memories…I guess have to live with the fact that they’ll cheer me up and bog me down wherever n whenever…a confusing role they play…INDEED…